Three Women in Heaven

...pray without ceasing… 1 Thessalonians 5:17

As the woman walked through the Pearly Gates of Heaven, angels' songs wafted through the air. She had never had this feeling before on earth. This feeling of lightness. It was as if her heart were filled with helium. When she looked down, her feet were planted on the ground of Heaven, but with each step she had buoyancy and felt more like she was floating a millimeter or two above anything solid.

Saint Peter radiated with a light that seemed to originate from deep within. His skin emitted a glow that almost hummed. His eyes emitted a warmth and with each word he spoke a healing-energy flowed from his lips to her ears. It was magical. Everything inside her was melting away. She could remember her earthly body feeling heavy and sore and cumbersome. She now felt light and whole and free.

As they walked down the streets of gold, the woman marveled at the beauty of Heaven. Beauty her eyes almost couldn't take in. Beauty that seemed beyond anything she had ever seen, imagined or experienced. Peter guided her through the streets of Heaven and she marveled at all the wonder.

They finally came to a garden. It was the most lovely, most fragrant garden she had ever experienced. Each plant's leaves and branches seemed to stretch out, reaching. There were flowers of every color and fragrance. A pleasing flavor hung in the air each time she breathed in and a light and playful melody floated on the breeze. As she marveled at the sheer scope of it, millions of plants she had never seen before, she noticed each one was healthy and vibrant with no brown or curling leaves. It instantly became her favorite place in Heaven. She could imagine herself sitting contentedly for eternity in this garden, breathing in it’s heady scent and lulled by the beautiful song.

And then… She stopped in her wandering. She saw Him. Jesus. He was standing a little way’s off, in a clearing, but he wasn’t alone. In the clearing there were three women, each kneeled on the ground. Each in prayer. They were not huddled together but in their own space. Jesus walked among them.

The woman looked to Saint Peter, afraid they had disrupted a private moment between Jesus and the woman, but Peter smiled and nodded. He stepped back and gestured her forward. The woman took a few tentative steps.

“Watch.” Peter said in a near whisper.

The woman did.

On the far left was the first woman knelt in silent prayer, head bowed, hands folded, she seemed focused on her task. Then suddenly, without warning, she burst into tears, falling down to the ground, nearly on her face, hands splayed out before her. Her body wracked in sobs... She stayed like this for a long while. Jesus slowly, methodically came to her and knelt down beside her. The woman’s sobs seemed to calm, but only for a moment. Again she began to shake with grief, moaning and wailing. Then suddenly she cried out.

“Why?!?” She screamed between her sobs. “Why is this happening to me, Lord? Why do I have to suffer like this?” Each word was a groan and a scream and a plee. The woman who was watching the scene had never heard such anguish. She kept her eyes glued to the scene, awaiting the Lord’s response. He positioned himself in front of the wailing woman. He sat on the ground and moved as closely to her as was physically possible. Again she bellowed,

“Why, Jesus? This is not fair! Help me, Jesus! I can’t go on! This is too much! This is too much for me to handle! This is too much for me to take! Jesus, help me! Please! Jesus, I need you! I can’t do it anymore!”

The visiting woman watched…

It seemed to take forever and no time at all.

Jesus, ever so gently, put both hands on the grieving woman’s shoulders. She continued to tremble in her pain. Slowly, deliberately, he lifted the woman into a seated position. Her face was wet with tears and dirt. Her eyes were squeezed shut and her breaths coming out in ragged gasps. Jesus took his left, pierced-hand and stroked half of the woman’s face, wiping away the tears and dirt. Then he took his right, pierced-hand and did the same on the other side of her face. Cupping her face in both of his hands, he brought his face to her stopping only inches from it. She continued to sob. She continued to shake. She continued to squeeze her eyes tightly shut. He continued to hold her face in his hands… And then the Lord spoke.

“Daughter.” It was almost a whisper. The woman’s sobs stopped, but only for a moment. “Daughter,” Jesus said again, “I am here.” Again the woman’s sobs stopped. She seemed to listen, her eyes still closed. “Daughter, I am always with you. I am here to take your pain away. I know that you are suffering and I am here to give you peace... Daughter, take heart. I love you.” The woman took a deep, cleansing breath, eyes still closed. She seemed to lean into her Savior. Jesus moved his hands from her face to her shoulders. “Daughter, you are not made to carry your burdens alone. Lay them at my feet and I will carry them for you.” The woman seemed to straighten up. She squared her shoulders and returned to her original position, her eyes still closed. Jesus didn’t move. “Daughter.” He said again. “Look at me.” There was a pause. A long pause, but finally, the grieving woman opened her eyes and gazed on Jesus. Her expression was one of awe and wonder. Looking deep into her eyes, Jesus said, “Daughter, you are mine… and I am yours.” The woman’s eyes softly closed and she resumed her silent time of prayer.

As Jesus stood, the second woman in the clearing said in a loud voice. “Jesus?” It was a question, not a plee. “Jesus, are you there?” Her eyes were closed. Her posture upright but comfortable. “Jesus, I'm sorry,” she continued in an even voice. “but there are times when I’m not sure that you’re there... There are times, Jesus, when I have trouble believing…” The woman took a deep, filling breath. “Jesus, I believe but help me in my unbelief.” Slowly but surely the Lord walked to the second woman. The expression on his face was one of compassion and love and joy and delight. It was the face of a proud Father looking upon his child. Again the woman said, “Jesus? Are you there?”

Jesus crouched next to the woman, not touching her. In her ear he gently whispered.

“Yes, my child… I’m here.” A wide smile split the woman’s face and her eyes flew open. Her laugh was almost a shout and filled with joy. She turned in the direction of Jesus and again she laughed, gazing on his face. Almost as quickly, she returned her posture of silent prayer. A smile on her face. Jesus stood and began to step away, as he did, the woman called out, eyes still shut.

“Jesus?” A huge grin splitting his face, the Lord bent down and kissed the top of the woman’s head as one would a child. Again her face lit up, eyes remaining closed. And he walked away.

The final woman, on the right side of the clearing in the garden had remained in quiet prayer this entire time. Head bowed, back straight, hands folded in her lap. Jesus walked toward her but when he was a few feet off, he paused, gazed down at her and then passed her by. He didn’t stop. He didn’t kneel with her. He didn’t speak to her. He gazed at her. She remained silent. She remained still.

“Alright,” Said Saint Peter, breaking the visiting woman’s attention from the scene in the clearing. Dumbfounded, disoriented and a little unnerved, the visiting woman realized her face was wet. She was so transfixed by the scene before her that she didn’t realize it had touched her to tears. She wiped them away.

“Shall we continue?” Peter said, putting out his hand to gesture in the opposite direction.

“Wait.” The visiting woman said. “Can I ask you about what we just saw?”

“Of course.” Peter said.

“Who are these women in the clearing?”

Peter smiled. “Those are some of God’s children.”

“Sure,” said the woman still flummoxed. “But what were they doing? Why were they there?”

“They were worshipping. They have come to the garden to be with the Lord.”

“But the one woman,” she said, “She seemed so sad. She must have been in the middle of something very difficult... I’ve never seen anyone who was so bereft. Her faith was so strong to be able to cry out to the Lord. She must have had the strongest faith of the three.” The woman paused in thought, “And then the middle woman, she seemed to be having one of those moments of doubt that we all have. It was beautiful to see her seeking Jesus and him acknowledging that he was with her. She must have also had a firm grasp of her faith.” Again, the woman considered the scene. “But honestly, Peter, the one that confused me the most was the last woman. She came to the garden to spend time with the Lord and he barely looked at her. He didn’t spend any time with her. He didn’t even talk to her. I know he loves all of his children, but she must not have a very solid faith if he couldn’t even speak to her.”

Saint Peter smiled. He glanced back at the scene, the three women still in prayer.

“I can see why you would say that, but you actually have it quite backwards.” Again he gestured to the clearing and the three women. The woman on the far left had begun weeping again, not as severely as before but her shoulders slumped and her body shook. The middle woman’s prayer was now a whisper that could only be heard in the wind; bits and pieces… “Jesus? Are you...? Jesus? Where...?” The final woman’s posture remained unchanged.

“Each of these women have faith in the Lord. And each of these women have the same amount of doubt and grief. However, the first woman’s faith is new and weak. Daily she comes and cries out to the Lord, as she did today. And daily he comes to console her. She needs his constant love and attention because her young faith is growing... Jesus is patient and loves her so perfectly that her faith will continue to grow and eventually, she will be like the second woman. The second woman’s grief and doubt are equal to the other two. She has walked with the Lord for a while now and learned to hear his voice. She knows his presence. Still, she has moments when she needs to come here, to the garden, and ask questions, confirm his existence... Jesus is compassionate and loves her so perfectly that he knows she needs reassurance. It is such a joy to see when she remembers he is with her. Her joy overflows and is contagious to others. She just needs the occasional reassurance.”

“And the final woman?” the visiting woman asked.

Saint Peter gazed at the woman, on his face, pride and wonder.

“Oh, you know, in Heaven we’re not supposed to have favorites, but I still have a little human left in me.” He said, “I can’t help but say, she is one of my favorites. She is a pillar of faith. She has walked with the Lord through countless trials. She has trusted him through fear and uncertainty. She has been faithful. But, remember, she has the same grief and doubts that the other two have. It is that her faith has taken root like a mighty oak tree. She is not shaken when she grieves because she trusts in the Lord. She is not afraid of her doubt because she knows the truth.”

“Then why is she here?” The woman asked. “Why is she with these other women whose faith is not as strong as her own.” “She is here for many reasons, but most of all, she is here to fellowship with the Lord.”

“But he didn’t stop! He didn’t touch her! He didn’t even talk to her! He hardly even looked at her!” The visiting woman couldn’t help but shout.

Why would this amazing woman of faith have to miss the opportunity of being in the physical companionship of the Savior? Wouldn’t that be the most important thing, the greatest reward? Didn’t she need that as much as the other women?”

“Are you sure about that?” Came a voice from behind her. A voice like velvet and thunder.

A shiver ran through her body. She instantly knew that voice. It reached into her chest and filled her warmth. She turned. Jesus. He stood in the garden with an amused smile on his lips. Jesus reached toward Peter and clasped his shoulder in greeting. Peter smiled and gave a slight nod.

The visiting woman was stunned into silence. She had no words. She could hardly formulate a response.

Compassionately, Jesus continued.

“The last woman has such an intimate relationship with me that she doesn’t need me to physically touch her. She doesn’t need me to speak to her aloud. Just being in my presence tells her all she needs to know... She knows what it feels like when I touch her heart... She is familiar with my voice in her spirit... Being in community with me confirms her faith, quiets her fears and calms her spirit. When she is sad, she doesn’t have to say a word. I already know... When she is confused or angry or tired or happy, I already know... When she is in my presence she is giving me what I require most, her worship and I am giving her what she requires most, my love. This is faith. The other women also have faith. They are all doing what is right; seeking me. As they grow in their faith they will become like the last woman and they will have a great faith that glorifies me… You say I didn’t touch her or talk to her, but the truth is I did because I am alive within her. She is my beloved and she knows me.”

*****

This is not an original story. I have retold it and recrafted it to make it (somewhat) mine. I don’t remember where I heard it originally. It was probably at a women’s Bible study, early in my walk with Jesus. But the illustration of the three women has always struck me. It has stayed with me. Its lesson is that Jesus doesn’t care how we come to him. We can come to him in tears. We can come to him yelling and screaming. We can come to him with our doubts and our shame. He will be there. He shows up. Nothing we bring to him is a surprise. He wants our worship, fellowship and communion. He wants to be in our everything, to be our everything.

I pray that one day we all get to take a tour with Saint Peter in Heaven. I pray that we can walk the streets of gold and get coffee in the Heavenly Starbucks with some Biblical All Stars. But, until that time, I hope you’ll remember the story of the three women. I hope you will realize that we are all each of these women at different times and that’s okay.

Jesus wants to be invited in. He wants to wipe away your tears. Jesus wants to sit with you and be with you today and always because he loves you.